I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
