i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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