I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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