seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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