why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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