Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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