I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
