They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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