Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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