No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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