You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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