do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
