also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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