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it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
