Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
