Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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