His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
