I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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