Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
