Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
