No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
