i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
