Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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