now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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