i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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