they need to just BURY HIM!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
