We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
