What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
