they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
