are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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