This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
