Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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