Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
