I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
