We're facebook friends in real life
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
