summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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