Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
