walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
