New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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