where am i from again
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
