one might say we're banned from that church
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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