if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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