you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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