i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize