just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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