Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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