So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
