Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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