Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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