Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
