it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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