You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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