I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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