you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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