Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
