Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
