apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
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i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
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She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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