Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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