the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
