His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
