I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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