Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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